Taking Off

I stood, looking up, waving, hoping Zack could see me. I felt a bit foolish, but I had promised that I would wave good-bye and I had faith that he was able to spot me and know I wished him well on his journey. Usually, it would be just our little family, Zack’s father, Ken, his sister, Ariel and I, seeing Zack off on a trip, but this time, many people were with us. Friends, neighbors and family had all turned out. They were sad to see him go but, to one degree or another, depending on the person, confident that his journey would be safe and he would have a great time upon arriving at his destination.

It wasn’t the first time we’d done this sort of thing. When Zack was 9 ½, he flew by himself from Bakersfield, CA, where we had just moved, to Texas to visit with the family back home for a week or so. His Dad and I stood at an outside gate, holding Ariel, who was not quite one, and waved like lunatics, not knowing what side of the plane he was on, or if he could see us, but hoping he could and that he’d have a safe flight. We were so proud of him for his sense of adventure and courage, to make this trip alone. He was a clever kid, with a sharp wit, a huge smile, red hair and eyes that made you happy to be near him. We knew he’d be safe because he was being met on the other end by his Aunt Jan, who loved him and watched over him like she was his own mother. Of course, he called as soon as he arrived safely and told us all about it. It was wonderful to see him growing so.

We had done this several more times over the years between the summer of his 9th year and now, the Christmas of his 20th. When he was 18, he flew to Germany on his own. Same feeling of happiness, same relief when he arrived. Same pride in his courage and spirit. He had run the gamut once again, this time with customs officials thrown in for more challenge. Hoo Yah!!

This evening, however, was different in several important ways. I had never been to where he was headed. He would be gone for a very long time. The most profound difference for me, though, was the feeling that came over my heart. I thought I might be worried or nervous, because this time, there would be no way for him to call once he got there. But I was filled with the most wonderful peace. The “peace that passes understanding.” And joy. Who knew? Joy. A joy so deep, so straight to the core of my very soul that I had never felt it before. It lifted me, filling my heart in such an inexplicable way and totally surprising me. This trip was like no other in one other important way: Zack was not in an airplane. He had no luggage, no tickets. He did not have flight attendants caring for him or pilots making sure he got safely to his destination. And it would be the last time our eyes would meet on earth. For Zack was flying with Angels and his destination was to see his Heavenly Father, God.